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Rocky Situations

Thursday, November 18, 2010 |



You put on your best dress, the one you save for the very special occasions, the one that hugs your curves and makes you look a little like Jessica Alba at the Oscars.  Your hair is done up in an immaculate side-swept chignon that reminds people of old Hollywood glamour. You go full blast on makeup. Slip your perfectly pedicured feet into your show-stopping pair of heels. 

It was THE PARTY. Everyone you knew were going.  Jason, the stud you had the HOTS for was going ALONE and you wanted to make sure you were the only one he would give a second look at. You were going to be the belle of the ball. And you did look pretty damned gorgeous, you look in the mirror and say to yourself , ‘ you hot vixen you, you are going to be the centre of attention tonight!’


You arrive at the posh resort where the party’s at. You follow the arrow that points to        THE PARTY.


You rearrange your steps and try to walk with a little sway in your hips.
You made your carefully planned entrance. Head up, chest out, you walked confidently and sexily(you hope) to where the party was. 

They took one look at you and their jaws dropped, eyes opened wide, some of them gasped in amazement.  Jason stopped talking to bimbo looking chick
and was looking at you intensely.

It was a perfect entrance, you gloated for a second while staring back at Jason.

It took you awhile to notice everyone else were in bikinis, sarongs and casual tees, flip flops and Hawaiian pants.

You are thrown aback a little, wondering if you’re at the wrong party. But Jason was here, your friends were here. You look around and saw a barbecue going on and people were holding up their charred chicken wings and hot dogs and eyeing you up and down, then you saw sand, and your heels were slowly sinking into it.

It was a beach barbecue party and you showed up looking like you were expecting to be served Braised Scallops on silk covered tables and pretty folded napkins.

And you hear whispers of ‘didn’t she read the invitation?’.   Jason is whispering to the bikini clad bimbo and taking side glances at you. And your body freezes and you feel....


MORTIFICATION IN ITS PUREST FORM.


Your confidence feels like it has been shattered by these stone cold stares. Some of them even look embarrassed for you.

Then suddenly through the piercing silence you hear laughter. You turn to see your best friend coming towards you and giving you a discreet wink.  “Baaabeeee.....you are at the wrong party! Weren’t you supposed to be  Mark’s date at that company launching dinner first before coming here. Did you mix up the venues again girl?!”

You were wondering who Mark was and so were the rest of the people.  But you saw an escape route and you grabbed it like manna from heaven.

“OH CRAP! I'm such a airhead! Too many things going on all at once, i guess! I’m late for Mark’s dinner! I gotta go!” Thankfully you head for the EXIT

“You ARE coming back aren’t you Miss Popular?” your friend hollers
“Of course! As soon as I can! With my bikini this time!”

“And don’t forget, we’re hitting THE CLUB after this party with Byron and Cordelia, you promised drinks are on you.” Another wink. You are wondering how she gets names like Byron and Cordelia right out the top of her head like that. 

And suddenly you see Jason looking at you with a heightened level of interest. Immediately, from total embarassment, you have become the girl with a lot of things going on for you. Bimbo was now oozing jealousy from her fake tan.


Later on, while you were finally home, stripped down to your bikini, perfectly timing yourself before heading back to THE PARTY. You text your friend the saviour , “If I could afford the WHOLE CLUB, I’d buy it for you....Thank you. XOXO

AH....friendship rocks.


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