Sunday, January 23, 2011 |
I just got dumped. About an hour ago. By someone I have been dating for half a year, someone  who suddenly told me today, after days of telling me he wants to be alone, and leaving me hanging,  that he was not ready for love. And he did it  Through text message.

You might think that I am a mess right now, with rumpled hair and tear-streaked face,  piles of tissue beside me,  with my phone in my hands, desperately trying to call him, sobbing when he doesn’t pick up.

But I can proudly say, I am looking in the mirror, and I actually look pretty darned good , not like someone who has just been dumped at all.  I’m still in my Sunday dress, my hair is still in place, although there are a few fly-aways from being blown by the wind. I am amazed to see that I can still actually smile into the mirror like I always do. I don’t exactly remember where I put my phone, I might have left it in the car. Oh Well.

A good friend of mine called me up to ask me if I'm ok. She had to ask twice because she couldn't comprehend why she wasn't hearing sniffing and crying from me. I started giggling and told her I was perfectly fine XD.

Half an hour ago I changed my relationship status on Facebook to single,  and started asking who was free to go out partying. The response was swift and overwhelming.   Chat boxes popped up asking  “ ARE YOU REALLLY SINGLE???” ,”ARE YOU OK?” , WELL, DOES THIS MEAN THAT YOU ARE AVAILABLE NOW?”, “ APA LAGI??? KITA LA YANG BER’DATING NI MALAM’!”

Very flattering, it made me laugh out loud.  But what really made me feel good were these messages:
“ How can you be that strong?” & “ How can you still be so confident about yourself?”

The simple answer is this . I simply chose how to feel about things. It is that easy. 

Well, maybe it wasn’t THAT easy because it took guts and a lot of self-motivation.  But I chose and I think I chose well.

 I chose to not  blame myself, I chose to not feel miserable, I chose to not waste my time burying myself in pillows and snot-filled Kleenex, I chose not to tear myself into pieces over someone who would not really care, someone who was not man enough to step up to the plate and love me for the cool person that I am. 

I chose to shift my focus into making myself happy , I chose to watch “Whose line is it Anyway” on Youtube and laugh my head off,  I chose to get myself too busy to give him too much thought.  I did allow myself about 5 minutes to shed some tears, I’m human after all. After that I chose to suck it up and to not allow my emotions and life to be controlled by someone else. I choose to not beg and plead and put my life on hold for ANYONE, EVER!  I chose to believe that whoever has me should feel so lucky and if he does not realize it, then it is just too bad for him then. He just lost the one and only me.

Do I sound pompous and a tad bit too arrogant? Well, at least I’m not contemplating suicide and bawling over how my life sucks and whining about how much I want him back. At least I do not have to make other people worry whether I am going to burst into tears any second or whether to hide all sharp objects from my sight. I’m going out tonight and I’m gonna party like it’s MA BIRTHDAY. J I got my friends around me,  good music, my family.  Those who really cares for me, and are willing to be there for me, are the ones who are gonna get all the pieces of my good lovin’. Life is too short to pine over someone who can’t handle me.  I choose SELF-WORTH .

We all have a choice people, so choose wisely.  Choose to LIVE.

Where the FUN at? : I choose where the Fun at, and it is on the very ground I stand upon.

P/S:  This is also a response to the infamous Alviss Kong Suicide.   This is a perfect example of what we should NEVER EVER do after a breakup. Because in the end no one wins. And the one who suffers most is his family, who are the people who loved him unconditionally for all those years.  May he rest in peace
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